Can you tell how badly I need this vacation?

Yes!  Here we go!  I'm getting out of Singapore, away from work, away from stress/pressure/ridiculous expectations, and going back to a country that I enjoy a little more each day.  Who would have thought that I would love going on vacation in Indonesia?  It's safe to say that two years ago this is a country I not only thought I would never see, but also didn't care if I would ever see.  I'm so glad I've come, though, and my mind is totally changed.  So it's back to Jakarta in order to forget about Singapore.

For a flight just over an hour, that was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I’ve had in a long time.  My neck was horribly, horribly stiff and when I finally drifted up out of my coma I felt a. Confused, b. Exhausted (still), and c. a fire in my neck that was almost as if I had been working out for 12 hours the previous day and the lactic acid had built up to critical levels.  I was distracted from the pain, though, by the fact that I could barely keep myself awake.  ‘Swimming’ in and out of consciousness is a  very apt metaphor for what was happening and I wished with all my might that I would wake up at Changi airport so I could go home and go to bed in my tiny, stuffy box of a room.

What happened as we were landing in Jakarta gets more unsettling each time I look back on it, actually.  I was half-awake, half-asleep, there was a little bit of turbulence, and even though it was dark out I could tell it was foggy because the light on the wing had a 6” wide halo around it.  As we descended choppily, I thought to myself I hope we crash.  I wouldn’t have to go back to work.  Life would be so much easier if we just crashed.  I didn’t even have my seatbelt buckled.  Once we had walked into the airport and I was fully awake, I was taken aback at how such depressing thoughts had bubbled up from my subconscious.  If there were any doubt in my mind about whether I would stay in Singapore next year, the last few days have quieted them because for the first time in my life I’m seeing definite mental and physical symptoms (chest pains and neck spasms) of all the stress I’ve been under.  I’m not going to go into it here; if you want to know more you’ll have to read my Singapore blog, but I just continue to be amazed at how joyless and soul-crushing this job and country is.

An hour after landing I'm sitting at a street-side table trying to figure out what I forgot.  So far I’ve got my elastic money belt, insect repellent, my ezLink card, a water bottle, and my USB converter for my memory cards (that’s what really hurts—no uploading photos on the road and no way to transfer the pictures to my computer to clear up memory).

Geez, if a terrorist really hated foreigners and wanted to take out a lot of them at once they just need to come to the street my hotel is on; Jalan Jaksa is crawling with white people in plain, solid-colored, slouchy clothes and scarves.  Memories Cafe is cram full of greasy, unshaven (for both genders) travelers looking for cheap pints and dancing to club music that came out in the US years ago.

The weather is nicer than I remember, although it is nighttime and it did just rain.  But I still remember the night I slept outside the Jakarta airport in June feeling loads steamier than this.  So is this a good sign? 

There have been other good signs, too: First, I thought the bus into town from the airport had finished and I’d have to pay a lot for a taxi, but a nice lady saw me near the bus stand and told me there was one more coming.  Second, the bus station turned out to be right at the base of the National Monument I’m visiting tomorrow and it was really pretty to look at while it was lit up.  Third, as I stepped off the bus, waiting for me was the first tuk tuk I’ve seen since I left India!  I knew I’d be getting a ride from him, even if he did overcharge me a little bit (probably should have been half that).  Fourth, when I stopped on the street to check the address of where I wanted to stay that night, I heard another girl say she was looking for it, too.  So she and I walked to it together and she offered to let me stay with her when they said they only had one room available.  So there were many, many good signs already that make me think this trip will go well. 

Well, I’ve finished my dinner (canai—a lightly fried dough that’s like a large, crispy prata and comes with a veggie & broth dipping sauce), so it’s time to walk back to the hotel along Jakarta’s back alleys, past the hookers and motorbikes—both for rent—to the lullaby strains of fifty drunks singing along to Axl Rose and “Sweet Child of Mine”.  Welcome to Jakarta.