"The little things give you away"

Elias touches me from time to time, just gentle gestures that anyone might do with a friend, like putting his hand on my knee when he walks past me or on my arm when we’re crossing the road and a car is coming or on my elbow on the many occasions that I’ve slipped and almost fallen (I’m getting clumsier as I age, I swear). So nothing suggestive, just casual moments of contact, but each time it happens I get a jolt. As I’ve thought about why I'm reacting this way, I’ve realized it effects me so strongly because it’s been years since I’ve been touched like this, just regular physical contact in small ways that are how someone shows you they care about you. Now don’t read into this, I know it’s not like that with Elias; he’s such a nice guy that it’s just normal behavior for him to show affection. But it’s still another reminder that I’ve gone years without contact like this. I’ve had some romantic encounters, but what I’m talking about is different than that; it’s the regular, predictable, little things people do to show you that you’re loved. Oh, how I miss that! If someone tried to hold my hand I would probably go into cardiac arrest. It’s not a pleasant feeling to be hyper-aware of even the most innocent of touches from someone of the opposite sex because it’s really just desperation underneath it all and no one likes someone who’s desperate.

On a related note, it's getting pretty damn annoying seeing signs advertising for 'makin oke' every fifty feet.  Whatever food it is, I doubt I'm going to try it.  That would be weird, right?


Okay. Enough. On to more uplifting topics. How can I be so fixated on this when I just spent another day in paradise? Danau Toba is beautiful and about every half-hour or so I look around in absolute bliss. Walking around today it seems as though all of the shops are open and there are people staffing them, but Elias and I could count the number of tourists on one hand. Despite this, there seems to be no desperation to win our business, and more often than not people walk out to the street and call out a hello to you just to be jovial. It’s the total opposite of what I had come to expect in India, where every seemingly-innocent conversation somehow got turned into a sales pitch. 

I've noticed this in almost every city here I've been to: the Indonesian people seem to prioritize being pleasant (when they aren't driving buses) and getting to know you better over making a lucrative business deal.  And I have to say I really appreciate that, but there's a catch: you usually don't get a chance to just sit quietly and get some peace.  It seems that sitting and reading or writing or just enjoying the scenery is an open invitation for people to come up and ask you all sorts of personal questions.  Poor Elias, he's been traveling for years and he's said he gets tired of explaining "German, single, nope no girlfriend, 25, traveling the world, backpacking, no good reason, just adventure, etc.".  I'm getting annoyed after only a week, mainly because it just feels awkward to be asked everyday where my husband/kids/boyfriend/father is and stuff like that (and they just don't understand single women past 18, let alone single women past 18 traveling). 

We had plenty of chances today to introduce ourselves to the village because we spent the morning walking, exploring, window shopping, taking pictures, and swimming!  Oh, it was lovely, if a bit freaky because the waves were fairly large and I'm still afraid of deep water.  It didn't help that my swimsuit is a few years old and has lost its elasticity so I was basically holding everything up as I got out of the water.  Oh, and then I accidentally lost one of the hotel's towels because I pulled Elias in while he was wrapped up and HE LET GO OF IT IN THE LAKE.  Come on, everyone knows you hold onto the towel in the water!  So there goes 25,000 rupiah. Oh, well, that's only about $2.50 and overall the morning was incredibly relaxing and went by at a nice, slow pace.

And the afternoon was just as good!  We attended a cooking class led by Haddy, a woman who has lived in Tuk Tuk all her life and whose cookbook is apparently highly coveted because she makes such incredible food.  Definitely one of my bigger purchases so far at 210,000 rupiah, it was still a lot of fun and I think it was worth it in the end.  She welcomed us with a big plate of fruit then brought us over to start chopping, peeling, smashing, sauteeing, boiling, cleaning (a fish--I gave that honor to Elias), and grating coconuts over what seemed like kind of an iron comb.  We had lodeh (veggies and tempeh in a kind of gravy), fish with tomato and chilli sauce, chicken curry, and banana fritters with coconut for dessert.  By the way, Elias is definitely the best coconut grater/scraper out of the two of us; Haddy was very impressed.  Show off.

And just to enjoy our food a little bit more, Haddy leads us, laden with our creations, out the back door of the restaurant and up a flight of stone stairs to a picnic table with one of the best views I've seen yet.  It's incredible, and yes, I do think it made the food better.  On a funny note, the neighborhood cats know that when someone comes up here they're bringing food with them; about ten of them surrounded us and began a chorus of meows that weren't really that adorable until I had eaten a little and wasn't quite so hungry myself.  Elias was nicer than I was, he saw one eyeing the fish carcass and purposely set the plate where the cat could get up to it and, sure enough, that fish was on the ground being eaten bones and all in about 3 minutes.  Oh, but the food was so good!  Not too spicy, a lot of coconut, fresh tempeh, fresh fish from the lake...all just so so good.  And I can make it at home because she gave us a copy of her cookbook!  So if anyone wants some delicious Indonesian food come visit me (once I figure out what country I'm going to live in next year, that is).

Elias and I decide to end the evening the way most of our native counterparts here do: at the local pool hall drinking Cokes and watching every local guy under 30 competing for bragging rights. I order a Bintang and Elias and I start flashing through the pictures on my camera as we wait for the pool table to become free. Despite hearing from them that every other shot is “easy”, I play miserably and am happy to watch most of the time. Nixon, a guy who works at our hotel and who brought both of us on the back of his motorbike tonight, is exceptionally good, but then again what else is there to do most nights of the week other than television? When we get back, Elias and I watch “Deconstructing Harry” in bed then finally succumb to exhaustion. What a wonderful, wonderful day!